The Traffic Lights

So here I am; a pedestrian standing on the edge of a street waiting for a machine to signal when I can walk. I could probably cross any time I want since there are no cars in sight but I got other shit on my mind so instinctively I’m just going to stand here until the lights tell me what to do.

I notice two girls standing on the other side also waiting for the same set of lights I am. Both girls are pretty cute and I can tell they find me attractive because they’re smiling at me and giggling with each other. It’s no surprise really; I’m a pretty attractive guy with great confidence and I’m wearing some pretty fresh shit. As we all wait for the lights, the girls continue to chat about how hot I am in the distance and I begin to plan out my confrontation with them when we finally cross the road.

My plan is solid; as the lights go green I’ll rip off my shirt and begin a confident strut towards the girls. They will see my amazing body and fall into a frenzied trance of lust. When this happens I’ll whip out my cock while standing in the middle of the street and force the girls to beg for it on their hands and knees. As they crawl up to me along the dirty, hot road I’ll command them to sit on their knees while stroking my dick slowly in front of them as they drool with anticipation. I’ll then grab the hair of one of the girls and jam my cock down her throat, she’ll continue to swallow it while her friend begins sucking on my nuts below. I’ll begin alternating between the two girls, making them gag on my rock hard shaft while surrounding traffic of the city builds up and watches my performance in amazement. After a while I’ll feel myself ready to burst so I’ll pull out from the girl’s mouth and unleash an impressive load all over their faces without spilling a drop. The girls will then lick my slop off each others faces and swallow every last bit while the surrounding traffic honks and cheers in my glory. The situation will be so fucking hot that all the nearby fire hydrants will explode simultaneously and shower upon the two chicks as they make out passionately under a giant fucking rainbow.

The only thing now separating this fantasy from becoming reality is a fucking green light. I slap the traffic button a few more times in a useless attempt to trigger that glorious moment of colour transition. Suddenly some douchebag and his girlfriend walk straight passed me. They clearly ignore the traffic lights which remain  red and continue to walk hand in hand across the empty street. The two girls on the other side notice this, shrug their shoulders and also begin crossing the street without the traffic light’s confirmation.

Great… thanks a lot asshole, Now I look like a fucking idiot standing at the lights for no reason. The two girls that once found me badass and attractive are now looking at me like a fucking pussy since I’m obeying the rules when everybody else isn’t. The other thing is if I walk across the road now I’ll look like a jackass following the actions of that douchebag which would make him the alpha male. If that happens the two cute girls will go home with the douchebag and his girlfriend where they’ll all have amazing, wild sex while I’m still standing on this curb like a fucking dipshit.

Confidence shattered and ego deflated, I stand around uncomfortably and awkwardly while praying for a car, bus or ANYTHING to swing around the corner and take out everyone crossing the fucking road.

Fuck the traffic lights.

Virginity and Retribution

It’s 12.14 am.

I’ve been sitting in this armchair for hours on end, waiting for my 17-year-old daughter to come home. After years of sheltering her from late night social activities I finally gave in to the pressure of my nagging wife and let Cindy – our daughter, go to her first teenage party. Cindy is a beautiful, shy girl… and that’s exactly the problem; she’ll be a prime target for horny, drunken highschool boys who will pressure her into drinking and then take advantage of her. The very thought of a bunch of highschool punks touching my sweet little girl sickens me to my stomach. My mind races and strains as the minutes tick by.

1.31 am.

There is a sudden weak knock on the door and I race out to attend it with anticipation and great concern. I open the door and cowering before me is my daughter Cindy… covered in bruises with a plain, blood-soaked bedsheet wrapped over her delicate body. “He… *sniff* He raped me… *sniff sniff*” She whimpered with tears pouring from her eyes.

Jesus Christ…

I give up being an “over-protective father” for one single night and this bullshit happens. I pick Cindy up gently off the porch and bring her inside. She continues crying and shaking as I carry her upstairs into the bathroom. I run her a warm bath and ask her if I can take a look at the damage on her body. She nods slowly and removes the bedsheet revealing her bruise covered skin. I catch a quick glimpse of her young vagina… a nasty flow of blood leaks from it and continues running down her left thigh.

Fuck me. My own flesh and blood defiled like this? My sweet little angel… de-flowered, cherry busted, de-virginized and raped. Not on my fucking watch, some piece of shit WILL pay for what he’s done. Never fucking cross me.

After laying Cindy down in the bath I ask her for a name. “Ryan… H-He did it” She replied. “What is his last name sweety?” I ask. “Summerfeld… Ryan Summerfeld *sniff*” She whimpered. I assure Cindy that everything will be alright before retreating into the bedroom where I boot up my computer. I hear my wife snoring behind me… fucking bitch… this is mostly her fault and now I’m the one who has to clean up this mess. I immediately search for Ryan Summerfeld’s Facebook. My fists clench and a surge of pure hatred rushes through every inch of my body as the page loads up. His profile picture clearly indicates that he’s a typical highschool jock fuckhead. I spot a public message on his page that reads: “FuCk YEAH!! Party 2NITE bitches!!! GOnna fuck the SHIT out of Cindy Myers >:) Shits gonna be SO cash!” Visions race through my head of Ryan Summerfeld raping my crying daughter at some frat party while laughing loudly and high-fiving his bros. I begin pulsating with absolute rage but manage to calm myself down. The stupid little shit left his house address on his Facebook and that’s all I needed.

I help Cindy out of the bath, get her dressed into some clean clothing, put her to bed, kiss her forehead and assure her that everything will be fine because I will sort it all out. After turning off the light and gently closing the door to my daughter’s room I waste no time and head straight to my special closet. It is here where I rendezvous with my three partners in retribution: Mossberg 500, Desert Eagle and Combat Knife.

It’s 3.15 am.

I ring the doorbell 6 times before Mr. Summerfeld opens the door whereas my Mossberg shotgun fires just once before the shot opens his  face. The glorifying combustion of his skull results in the splattering of cranial fluids  and the launching of brain giblets throughout the Summerfeld hallway. I venture inside to chase down a now terrified Mrs. Summerfeld who attempts to flee back upstairs. My Desert Eagle fires three shots at her legs; 2 of these shots hit the same leg causing Mrs. Summerfeld to come crashing back down the stairs. After suffering a bloody leg amputation and a moderate fall I decide to put the woman out her misery. I grip the barrel of the Desert Eagle tightly with one hand, pull her head up by grasping her hair with the other hand and apply five direct pistol whips to her face. I take out my Combat Knife and cut Mrs. Summerfelds clothing off. Her hairy vagina stares back at me in silence; the putrid birthplace of the pathetic little shit that forcefully took my daughters’ virginity… her precious innocence. I begin hacking and stabbing away at Mrs. Summerfelds vagina until it’s nothing more than a horrific, bloodied slurry of snatch. I quickly hang her corpse up on the wall and begin salvaging as much of Mr. Summerfelds facial skin as I can.

5.08 am.

In absolute darkness without sound or movement I remain hidden in the Summerfeld kitchen, waiting for Ryan to return home. I’m wearing Mr. Summerfelds bloodied PJ’s and a mask of his facial skin that I managed to staple back together. Ryan soon stumbles through the front door  with a gigantic “I FUCKED your daughter” smile on his face and switches on the light. I jump out of the kitchen in my authentic Mr. Summerfeld costume and scream at the suddenly confused and terrified boy, “Ryan! You’ve been a HORRIBLE son!” Ryan quivered in extreme horror while catching a glimpse of his fathers severed face resting upon my own. “Da-Daaad……?” Ryan whimpered. “You’ve been such a HORRIBLE son Ryan that your mother and I have both agreed you should of never been BORN!” I continued without even attempting to sound like Mr. Summerfeld. As Ryan struggles for the door I run over and begin beating on him and knocking the pathetic teenage rapist to the ground. “You should have never been BORN my TERRIBLE son! We are going to put you BACK where you came!” I yelled while dragging him towards his mother’s strung-up corpse. Before Ryan could even react I shove his entire head into Mrs. Summerfelds hacked-up, bloodied mess of a snatch and jam the barrel of my Mossberg shotgun up his asshole. The highschool punk continues flailing his limbs in agony as I jam the mighty shotgun further and further up his now bleeding cornhole. After leaving him to choke inside his own mothers hacked up vagina for a while I decide to end his pathetic life by firing the anally inserted shotgun.

The task is finally complete so I retreat outside to admire the radiant sun and get some fresh air. I stab the Summerfeld dog to death and take a shit on its corpse before setting the entire house on fire and walking home to my family.

My daughter will never be harmed again.

Never cross me.